Last time on Spotto's Randomlocke Challenge, Skittles' fears were sadly not unfounded and she was our newest loss amongst our valiant team. May she and her Nazrin kind be reborn in a much more merciful world.
Flankhole: Why does it feel like it's been two years?
You slept in.
Flankhole: I know I sleep a lot, but it's definitely been two years.
You really, really, really slept in.
Huuurg: I have to say, even I, for such a timeless being, feel an odd disturbance in our harrowing and I must say, urgent quest.
Well even if it has been a long time like you all seem to believe, it doesn't seem like our 'alleged' absence has led to anything catastrophic. Let's move on shall we?
Wish: Sounds good to me!
Huuurg: Let me refill my palette with these morsels.
Flankhole: Wait wait wait--stoooop!
What?
Flankhole: There's a ship! An abandoned ship!
Well I'll be. Meiling, stop.
Judge: Wait, Meiling?
Meiling: Bloop.
Judge: ...you named the catfish Meiling.
It's a far more creative name than yours, I'll say that.
Judge: You named me this!
Do you dislike it?
Judge: Well, no, but that is aside from the point.
Lily: It's spring! It's spring~!
Swag: First off, it's summer, and secondly, you sound like a chain-smoker.
Lily: No, it's not summer...summer..too hot, too sizzling...like fire, fire everywhere. Where are you momma? Momma? I can't go Momma! I can't swim-! Please Momma, I can't-
Pichuun~!
...really, Swag?
Swag: Save it for someone who cares.
Even so she could've been an important clue about this boat!
Wish: Yeah, she was! The ship was on fire! Pretty simple stuff, amirite?
But why was the ship on fire!?
Huuurg: These meals are a tad too prickly I say. Not a texture my collapsing gut may be able to grind.
Wish: Your stomach still works!?
Huuurg: In a way yes. At least, so long as the dishes are practically still moving.
Flankhole: So...not the one on the left.
Huuurg: Unfortunately no, it seems past its expiration date.
Another male Komachi!? I guess I'll give it a more dignified name this tim--
CKomachi: Dude. Righteous, man.
Nevermind.
Aha! This must be why the ship is like so! Puppets with the uncanny desire to sink!
Judge: Afraid not.
What?
Judge: I do not feel malice from within these spirits. It cannot have been them.
Darn.
Judge: This one on the other hand.
CFuto: You can't kill me! I'm immortal--faints
Judge: Tell that to the judge.
Wish: Wow, that almost sounds like it could be your catchphrase!
Judge: I have no need of such things.
Holy shit! Another Hijiri! I had one back in Kanto, could never use it though.
Wish: Why not use it now, then?
Well... eyes Judge
Judge: What? Why do you look with me with such suspicious eyes?
...Nothing.
Sure!
Wish: What did she even say before that?
I dunno; I tune out such useless information now.
Judge: No better than the average trainer standing by, are you.
Maribel: ...Sometimes I wonder why I bother to check up on your progress.
Wish: My rival! I must destroy her!
Wasn't that Suwhackjob?
Wish: When she was around, there was enough room for the two of us. But, two Mokous? That I cannot ever forgive!
Mokou: Hey! I resent that! I'm much closer to the real Mokou than you!
Wish: You take that back you poor excuse for a lighter!
Mokou: Oh yeah!? Well for one thing, the real Mokou is a girl!
Wish: So what? I exemplify this look better than the original!
Uhhh, Wish?
Mokou: Wow, and people say I'm vain. A Mokou is special because she is a girl who goes against the norms. You are a male who does not.
Wish: Haven't you seen all these puppets? All of 'em skirt wearing ninnies--I already go against the norm!
WISH!
Wish: Only manly men wear pants like ours! It is you who is the impostor!
Judge: Oh stop it.
Judge: You're both impostors.
Wish: No! No fair!
Wish, you do realize there are, though few, other puppets that don't wear skirts? You're not special, at least not special in that way.
Wish: But-but-but--
Here, unleash your rage on this next puppet.
SRumia: Pleased to meet you sir! I am here to do battle in an honourary--
Wish: RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!!
SRumia: Oh goodness graaaacious~!!!!!
FWOOSH
Cirno: Wow what was dat? This ground is very smoky.
Huuurg: Hm, I must act post-haste. Wouldn't want this popsicle to melt in such a volatile environment.
Cirno: What does that mean?
Huuurg: Ah yes, delectable. I do enjoy blueberry.
Alice: Hold it!
Swag: ...nope.
Swag! That could be important!
Swag: Tell that to someone who ca--
Wish: What was that, ya punk?
Alice: Whew. Thank you, I have a message from someone. Someone you know.
Someone I know?
Alice: It seems the orb incident has affected not only this region, but others as well. Spirits of long dead puppets wandering the surface were sighted in places such as Unova, Sinnoh, and even Kanto.
How did you manage to get this information? Even the useless news reporters are playing nothing but pointless Touhoumon battles on TV!
Alice: Just a little doll that came by to inform me. She was disappointed she had to resort to me as opposed to someone on your team.
Wish: Hey! What is that supposed to mean!?
Alice: The rest of the information is within this blast of mystic force. Here, I'll let your puppet take this.
Wait no, not Wish--
Wish: Hurgk!
Alice: The information should process in his brain shortly.
He still hasn't recovered from the earlier incident! Wish, are you feeling alright?
Wish: Urge to kill...rising.
Alice: What?
FWOOSH
Swag: You truly thought throwing that idiot out instead of me was a good idea.
You would've wrecked her faster!
Swag: If I had wanted to, yes.
Wish: H-hey! That was just...a surge. I think. I think I'm getting the info now...
Swag: Yes, do tell as I wipe the floor of these insects.
Well actually, if there was an insect you'd be in trouble. Also, I think Flankhole can handle the next one. Wish? Do you have that info?
Wish: Yeah, it's from SockPuppet.
Flankhole: I have this feeling you don't put much thought into names, Snazzy.
Shush, she loves her name. What did SockPuppet say?
Wish: The tower she's in is filled to the brim with puppets she had seen killed moments before. Uh, she also said she saw one of your old, past puppets too? Or so they claimed anyway.
Oh.
Wish: Didn't say who though, but she thinks you'll get a handle on the situation because apparently you're "somehow the most competent among a species populated entirely by incompetent fools"
Sounds like SockPuppet alright. Good to know she's still doing well.
Maribel: What was that about dead puppets now?
Oh! You're still there!
Maribel: Of course I am! We were just battling, just!
Sorry, there seems to be a bit of a troubling development. You can ask your er, fainted Alice for more information.
Maribel: I take it you're going to try to solve this problem on your own?
Why? Do you want to help? The more the merrier!
Maribel: If someone like you can constantly defeat me, I don't see how I could fare throughout whatever shenanigans you might go through.
I guess that's a good point.
Maribel: ...you're not very good at this, are you?
Huh? What?
Maribel: You were supposed to say, "Not at all Maribel! You're really good at battling yourself! I'm sure you can surpass me someday if you keep at it!"
Am I supposed to deliver motivational speeches after all our battles now?
Maribel: Argh! Why are you so rude, blunt, and idiotic!?
Well, that was uncalled for.
Maribel: Why else would I be going ahead of you all this time, fighting you, warning you, making sure you're up to par, giving you free HMs!?
Because you're my friend?
Maribel: Normally friends would not put up with all the shit I've had to.
Wish: Is this not a good time to tell you more?
Well, er. You have been really nice to me and I've not been--oh. Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh.
Maribel: Well, now that I know...your true feelings. I suppose there's little point in me continuing.
Wait? What? Aren't you going on this journey for glory and victory to become the best Touhoumon master or something? Isn't that your dream?
Maribel: A little late for the speeches, Snazzy.
But it's true! What do your puppets mean to you? They weren't really just tools for you to scout ahead and give me pointers so I could become the greatest Touhoumon master there is, is it? I mean, all that time, all that bonding, did they mean nothing to you?
Maribel: Well, no, I--
The world isn't all about me you know. It's hard to believe, but it's true.
Maribel: I'm a little annoyed by how you worded that.
Maribel, you are my friend. I may not act like one all the time, or even ever...and maybe this is just a cheap last ditch effort to give you characterization before you never show up again, but you should go back home, spend some quality time with your puppets, think about what you want to do, with them, with yourself and well, head out to the world and see it with your own eyes, without the rose-tinted glasses. I'm sure it's much more beautiful than you take it for granted.
Maribel: ...I'm going now.
I'm glad you're taking my advice at heart!
Maribel: I wonder why I ever opened it up to someone like you.
Judge: ...you know nothing about girls, Snazzy.
What? I'm a girl! You take that back!
Judge: All I can do is shake my head.
Wish: Soooooo...do you want some more info?
I dunno. I feel like I should call her or something, make her feel better.
Wish: That's not a yes or no...
Huuurg: You know, the rest of us are also quite curious at what information you may be withholding.
Wish: Well, she said something about capturing one of these lingering spirits--
Flankhole: Wait! We do have one of those!
Wish: And that one of the biggest sources of this invasion of dead puppets is the volcano we fought Magma in earlier!
Aha! Thanks for that, Wish!
Judge: A hidden cave. Somehow I'm not surprised.
This time I brought many of these things! No pain for us today!
Swag: But no pain, no gain.
Judge: ...you out of anyone here will likely need these the most, you do realize that.
Swag: Snazzy is not that obtuse to throw me out into an oven.
Whew! It sure is hot in here! I wish my wardrobe wasn't mostly black.
Wish: I dunno what you're talking about. I'm feelin' fine!
Huuurg: Yes, this heat concept many of you speak of is alien to me.
Flankhole: Agh! Huuurg! Your jaw is starting to melt off your face!
Huuurg: Oh dear.
Hmm, I guess we should get this done quickly. Wish is unaffected but Huuurg definitely is, even if he can't feel it.
Judge: What do you think you're doing!?
Wish: Oooooh, a little part of me is going to be in you! Hehe, I can't believe I just said that!
Judge: You cannot rid of my smiting powers! What else could I possibly do to stand down sinners like Wish?
...use your other attacks that are actually STAB?
Judge: But, the effect would not nearly be as satisfying!
I had no idea you cared about aesthetic value in that way.
Judge: ...
I wish I had a Nitori here to tell me how scientifically impossible it is for humans to survive being this close to magma.
Maxie: At last! It is time to awaken, LUtsuho!
...that doesn't look like an LUtsuho...
Hey douchebag! That orb's responsible for keeping the dead, dead! Or something like that. You can't go around using it to bring back sleeping gods!
Maxie: You think I care about something as insignificant like that? As far as I'm concerned what I'm doing is a favour, bringing back the loved ones destroyed by horrible disasters like floods and tsunamis. They'll all be revived to witness the glory of Team Magma, ridding the world of water once and for all! Mwahahaha!
Maxie: Now, LUtsuho! Rise!
Judge: Why do all the megalomaniacs have to be so stupid?
Groudon!?
Maxie: Did it not like its new name? I thought it was a suitable nickname for such a revered god!
Flankhole: Y'know, I can actually understand if it left solely for that reason.
...what are you implying?
Flankhole: ...nothing.
Wish: My rival! And the proper gender too!
Maxie: Ha! You should take a look an inferior version of what will soon be your new god instead! Behold!
Y'know, I had an Utsuho before. It's much more powerful than anything you can pull out, awaken or otherwise.
Wish: What happened to the Mokou!?
Huuurg: My apologies, it is taking quite some time consuming this rather spicy delicacy without a lower jaw.
Huuurg: There we go.
Swag: Once again I'm impressed.
Wish: Take that you sorry excuse of a clone!
Swag: Finally, some work.
Hey DTenshi! Say eat me!
DTenshi: What--pichuun~!
Swag: I've heard that term so damn often when I was wild. Stop encouraging it! I'm starting to think you were the source!
Uhhh, no... I just like following trends? whistles
Swag: Begone.
Huuurg: A shame. I wanted to taste that one.
Are all your puppets male!? Geez, what does that mean about you?
Swag: I do not see how that is at all a problem. The fact that we as a collective are based on female humans leads to shock and inequality among our ra--
Judge: No. We will not be having such a controversial discussion. Next!
Next? There is no more next.
Maxie: Just because I was not able to defeat you--
Again.
Maxie: ...means nothing! LUtsuho has been unleashed! You will rue the day you defied such a being!
Wait, no what?
Maxie: So, I will simply destroy such an unnecessary base.
Have you been this senselessly destructive since birth!? You need help!
Hey guys I need a boat.
Guys?
Wish: Wow the news guys are actually reporting on something not a battle.
Oh what the fuck.
Flankhole: So...there goes that boat.
Judge: What of Meiling? Can we not take it?
Meiling is a very moody catfish. It prefers sleep over swimming long distances. Short distances? Fine, but across a large body of water? Yeeeeeeah.
Huuurg: May I suggest a water puppet as our sixth member?
I don't know. I guess I'll think about Komachi or something, but he seems rather pacifist.
Wish: Hey yeah! It's just been us five for a while! How come we haven't replaced our sixth opening?
Judge: I think Snazzy still needs time.
Wish: Eh?
Meiling: Bloop.
Hmmm, left or right?
Wish: Time? Time for what? If we're still just five aren't we more vulnerable or something?
Judge: That is true, however--
Skittles: Hey.
Everyone: !!
...well, there goes Komachi being the replacement.
Skittles: Oi! They helped me get back here!
Wait, you're not one of those lost spirits?
Komachi: And it ain't cheap, let me tell you.
Skittles: Technically I am, but I'm back to warn you. I can't stay long.
Flankhole: Wow, everything is warning us. My own, normally chaotic species, Snazzy's old Touhous, and even you, from beyond the grave!
Skittles: Right. Shut up. This is really important. The orbs aren't the only reason us spirits have escaped from the netherworld.
Huh!? It isn't!?
Skittles: You really think two orbs that can be stolen that easily is responsible for keeping death in its place? That's stupid!
Judge: True, that did sound illogical. I wonder why even I took that at face value.
Skittles: A malevolent force from beyond this very dimension is causing this unnatural epidemic. All I can tell you is that the most powerful puppet trainers of all may be under its influence.
Oh wow, that's pretty steep.
Skittles: Now, I must go. Defeat me.
But wait! You didn't come back because you're upset, having met the same fate of so many Nazrin of before?
Skittles: I am already dead. Such feelings are no longer a part of me.
Oh...
Skittles: But as they say, ghosts are really just a figment of the living's lingering emotions. I truly enjoyed the time I had with you all. I...have no regrets.
Skittles...
Komachi: Hey hey hey. The deal did not involve your own issues, just the potentially world-ending one. Guess we'll have to end this prematurely! Phantom ru--
Swag: !! energy light
Huuurg: I appear to have discovered a new move. Snazzy, what are your thoughts?
...
Judge: I would advise against learning such a move, unless you wish to join Skittles.
Huuurg: I suppose that is quite an unnecessary sacrifice for something so minimal. Alright.
In the large scheme of things, you are nothing. You are insignificant. You're just another pawn working under another idiot, worsening the situation at hand that none of you understand. I pity you.
Matt: What?
Get out of my way.
Matt: You'll be sorry you said such things!
AKomachi: Hey have you seen my underling anywhere? He illegally transported a soul around this area.
Huuurg: Not at all. You may have to look elsewhere once you recover from your injuries.
AKomachi: Wha-?
Huuurg: NOMS
Wish: Hey Snazzy, you ok?
I'll be fine. I guess we really do need a sixth member though, but who? If only we can steal the 'mons from this jackass.
Flankhole: There are plenty of candidates in the box!
Hmmmm...
Judge: Not this one though. He has sinned just a little too much.
Futo: Nooooooo~!
Huuurg: You seem very pleased whenever you fight this kind.
Huuurg: Ah, woe is I! A being my canines phase through! I suppose a diet is necessary once in a while.
Yeah, now get lost.
Matt: Don't be so cocky little girl. My boss is already on his way to wake up the great LSuwako!
Wow, how predictable. Also thank you for telling me exactly what you people are planning. Sometimes your stupidity is advantageous.
Matt: Wait what?
And with Swag on my side, those Suwakos will be sore in the morning. Heh.
Wish: Was that meant to be--
No. It's about this whip. Solely this whip. THERE ARE NO INNUENDOES HERE, YOU HEAR ME, INTERNET!?
Swag: ...what?
GOOD!
Wish: I like being useful in all the places I never expected to!
Yes, good for you Wish.
Judge: Why must you enable him?
Hey look Swag! A bug you cannot squash. Burninate it, Wish.
Wriggle: Please! Mercy! I beg of you!
Wish: As you command!
Just kidding!
Wriggle: I'm...alive?
Yes, welcome to the club Wriggle. You and many others will be applying for the sixth position on my team. Goooood luck!
Wow, such useless deepseatooth thingies. Only one single puppet type can use it, and I don't own any.
Judge: It's fine to have just in case.
Wish: And shiny!
What are you, a crow?
Wish: What are we doing now?
You'll see.
Judge: I demand my smiting powers returned forthwith!
No.
Huuurg: Ah, just as I've observed. There is a pattern!
No one will be dying under my watch! Not with these moves they won't! And that's what you'll need if you guys want to join our main team. Does anyone meet the requirements Judge?
Judge: ...no.
....drats!
Wish: What will we do now!?
Plan B! Everyone gets a tryout! Starting with...
...you!
Mofo: Oh! I'm honoured! Thank you, thank you very much!
Flankhole: Er, do you want a name change or anything of the sort? We can provide that.
Mofo: Not at all! I feel very in tune with this name you gave me, as if it describes me perfectly. Gasp! A new form! I have grown so big! You do not know how much gratitude I have for you! Oh, even if you put me back in that box right now I'd be satisfied!
Swag: We should do that. Right now.
Hey. Give him a chance! There are many other candidates after him!
Which is going to be featured prominently in the next part, yay!
Swag: Fourth wall.
That's fine. It's the end of this one anyway!
Swag: I wonder if the next part will come within the next two years?
Oi! Shut up! I had reasons! ...terrible reasons, but reasons.
Swag. Whatever. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance, but procrastination is a-okay.
That's right kids! Even if the fate of the universe hangs in the balance, procrastination is a-okay.
Current Roster
the same thing yo!
A/N: Ah yes, two years. I have no excuse. Well okay, my excuse is I forgot about it and then had writer's block, and then found new interests and started getting busy, you know all the normal usual stuff. I cannot guarantee finishing this storyline, again still pulling plot out of nowhere. But part of the reason I did this is because a very inspirational man passed away a few months back, and today yesterday would have been his birthday. He was very creative and instead of flowers or cards us fans were encouraged to do something creative, just like he would've done. Really, I do love writing about Touhoumon lore. I even wrote up a huge backstory thing about the Touhous in my previous run, but again incomplete. Another part of the reason I did this is because someone who drew tons of neat art of a particular pairing stopped around three years ago suddenly, dropping off the face of the earth from their pixiv and twitter. A few people assumed he may have died, but someone said he was drawing on some other fandom so it's a relief to know he isn't dead. It is still a shame that he suddenly stopped what he was drawing so long ago, and probably started up new accounts for the new things he was doing. This Touhoumon thing too stopped suddenly a few years back, and just leaving it like so feels inadequate. I know I don't have readers reading this (maybe one? lol idk) but still, to leave things unfinished forever...I know how it feels to be on the other end, so why not give this a go again? Just like with that artist, there's always a chance he'll draw for that pairing again.
Recently, a project was under way to translate a Touhoumon-like game that isn't reliant on mods. An entire standalone game based on Pokemon replaced with Touhou! I really want to play that. I'm not sure how to write a story around it since the game itself probably has one of its own. I already know exactly what six Touhoumons I would want to have, so maybe whenever I start it up I'll post my progress on this blog! Who knows! Until then, Spotto out. I hope the formatting doesn't fuck up like it usually does on these damn blogger posts.
