Spotto's Touhoumon Runs

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Randomlocke Challenge 6: The Worst Twist of the Century


Last time on Spotto's Randomlocke Challenge, Skittles' fears were sadly not unfounded and she was our newest loss amongst our valiant team. May she and her Nazrin kind be reborn in a much more merciful world.

Flankhole: Why does it feel like it's been two years?
You slept in.
Flankhole: I know I sleep a lot, but it's definitely been two years.
You really, really, really slept in. 
Huuurg: I have to say, even I, for such a timeless being, feel an odd disturbance in our harrowing and I must say, urgent quest.
Well even if it has been a long time like you all seem to believe, it doesn't seem like our 'alleged' absence has led to anything catastrophic. Let's move on shall we?
Wish: Sounds good to me!

 photo mokou3_01_zps68671e8a.png

Huuurg: Let me refill my palette with these morsels. 
Flankhole: Wait wait wait--stoooop!
What?
Flankhole: There's a ship! An abandoned ship!

 photo mokou3_02_zps808ff8de.png

Well I'll be. Meiling, stop.
Judge: Wait, Meiling?
Meiling: Bloop.
Judge: ...you named the catfish Meiling.
It's a far more creative name than yours, I'll say that.
Judge: You named me this!
Do you dislike it?
Judge: Well, no, but that is aside from the point.

 photo mokou3_03_zpseb611d79.png

Lily: It's spring! It's spring~!
Swag: First off, it's summer, and secondly, you sound like a chain-smoker. 
Lily: No, it's not summer...summer..too hot, too sizzling...like fire, fire everywhere. Where are you momma? Momma? I can't go Momma! I can't swim-! Please Momma, I can't-
Pichuun~!
...really, Swag?
Swag: Save it for someone who cares.
Even so she could've been an important clue about this boat!
Wish: Yeah, she was! The ship was on fire! Pretty simple stuff, amirite?
But why was the ship on fire!?

 photo mokou3_04_zpsf82c6213.png

Huuurg: These meals are a tad too prickly I say. Not a texture my collapsing gut may be able to grind.
Wish: Your stomach still works!?
Huuurg: In a way yes. At least, so long as the dishes are practically still moving.
Flankhole: So...not the one on the left.
Huuurg: Unfortunately no, it seems past its expiration date.

 photo mokou3_05_zpsac3bd667.png

Another male Komachi!? I guess I'll give it a more dignified name this tim--
CKomachi: Dude. Righteous, man.
Nevermind. 

 photo mokou3_06_zps3d7f2eda.png

Aha! This must be why the ship is like so! Puppets with the uncanny desire to sink!
Judge: Afraid not.
What?
Judge: I do not feel malice from within these spirits. It cannot have been them.
Darn.

 photo mokou3_07_zps2715834f.png

Judge: This one on the other hand.
CFuto: You can't kill me! I'm immortal--faints
Judge: Tell that to the judge.
Wish: Wow, that almost sounds like it could be your catchphrase!
Judge: I have no need of such things.

 photo mokou3_08_zps7d74e310.png

Holy shit! Another Hijiri! I had one back in Kanto, could never use it though.
Wish: Why not use it now, then?
Well... eyes Judge
Judge: What? Why do you look with me with such suspicious eyes?
...Nothing. 

 photo mokou3_09_zps60fd344d.png

Sure!
Wish: What did she even say before that?
I dunno; I tune out such useless information now.
Judge: No better than the average trainer standing by, are you.
Maribel: ...Sometimes I wonder why I bother to check up on your progress.

 photo mokou3_10_zps310f18ef.png

Wish: My rival! I must destroy her!
Wasn't that Suwhackjob?
Wish: When she was around, there was enough room for the two of us. But, two Mokous? That I cannot ever forgive!

 photo mokou3_11_zpsc6009bc8.png

Mokou: Hey! I resent that! I'm much closer to the real Mokou than you!
Wish: You take that back you poor excuse for a lighter!
Mokou: Oh yeah!? Well for one thing, the real Mokou is a girl!
Wish: So what? I exemplify this look better than the original!
Uhhh, Wish?
Mokou: Wow, and people say I'm vain. A Mokou is special because she is a girl who goes against the norms. You are a male who does not.
Wish: Haven't you seen all these puppets? All of 'em skirt wearing ninnies--I already go against the norm!
WISH!
Wish: Only manly men wear pants like ours! It is you who is the impostor!
Judge: Oh stop it.

 photo mokou3_12_zps6d666225.png

Judge: You're both impostors.
Wish: No! No fair!
Wish, you do realize there are, though few, other puppets that don't wear skirts? You're not special, at least not special in that way.
Wish: But-but-but--
Here, unleash your rage on this next puppet.

 photo mokou3_13_zpsf562e96a.png 

SRumia: Pleased to meet you sir! I am here to do battle in an honourary--
Wish: RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH~!!
SRumia: Oh goodness graaaacious~!!!!!
FWOOSH

 photo mokou3_14_zps97c41872.png

Cirno: Wow what was dat? This ground is very smoky.
Huuurg: Hm, I must act post-haste. Wouldn't want this popsicle to melt in such a volatile environment.
Cirno: What does that mean?

 photo mokou3_15_zps8495c07b.png

Huuurg: Ah yes, delectable. I do enjoy blueberry.

 photo mokou3_16_zpseff5d795.png

Alice: Hold it!
Swag: ...nope.
Swag! That could be important!
Swag: Tell that to someone who ca--

 photo mokou3_17_zpsb5215c4b.png

Wish: What was that, ya punk?
Alice: Whew. Thank you, I have a message from someone. Someone you know.
Someone I know?
Alice: It seems the orb incident has affected not only this region, but others as well. Spirits of long dead puppets wandering the surface were sighted in places such as Unova, Sinnoh, and even Kanto.
How did you manage to get this information? Even the useless news reporters are playing nothing but pointless Touhoumon battles on TV!
Alice: Just a little doll that came by to inform me. She was disappointed she had to resort to me as opposed to someone on your team.
Wish: Hey! What is that supposed to mean!?

 photo mokou3_18_zpse8c47562.png

Alice: The rest of the information is within this blast of mystic force. Here, I'll let your puppet take this.
Wait no, not Wish--
Wish: Hurgk!
Alice: The information should process in his brain shortly.
He still hasn't recovered from the earlier incident! Wish, are you feeling alright?
Wish: Urge to kill...rising.
Alice: What?
FWOOSH

 photo mokou3_19_zps991afb6f.png

Swag: You truly thought throwing that idiot out instead of me was a good idea. 
You would've wrecked her faster!
Swag: If I had wanted to, yes.
Wish: H-hey! That was just...a surge. I think. I think I'm getting the info now...

 photo mokou3_20_zpsb2d0c11c.png 

Swag: Yes, do tell as I wipe the floor of these insects.
Well actually, if there was an insect you'd be in trouble. Also, I think Flankhole can handle the next one. Wish? Do you have that info?
Wish: Yeah, it's from SockPuppet.

 photo mokou3_21_zpsbadd9ede.png 

Flankhole: I have this feeling you don't put much thought into names, Snazzy.
Shush, she loves her name. What did SockPuppet say?
Wish: The tower she's in is filled to the brim with puppets she had seen killed moments before. Uh, she also said she saw one of your old, past puppets too? Or so they claimed anyway.
Oh.
Wish: Didn't say who though, but she thinks you'll get a handle on the situation because apparently you're "somehow the most competent among a species populated entirely by incompetent fools"
Sounds like SockPuppet alright. Good to know she's still doing well.

 photo mokou3_22_zps4ca61ae4.png

Maribel: What was that about dead puppets now?
Oh! You're still there!
Maribel: Of course I am! We were just battling, just!
Sorry, there seems to be a bit of a troubling development. You can ask your er, fainted Alice for more information.
Maribel: I take it you're going to try to solve this problem on your own?
Why? Do you want to help? The more the merrier!
Maribel: If someone like you can constantly defeat me, I don't see how I could fare throughout whatever shenanigans you might go through.
I guess that's a good point.
Maribel: ...you're not very good at this, are you?
Huh? What?
Maribel: You were supposed to say, "Not at all Maribel! You're really good at battling yourself! I'm sure you can surpass me someday if you keep at it!"
Am I supposed to deliver motivational speeches after all our battles now?
Maribel: Argh! Why are you so rude, blunt, and idiotic!?
Well, that was uncalled for.
Maribel: Why else would I be going ahead of you all this time, fighting you, warning you, making sure you're up to par, giving you free HMs!?
Because you're my friend?
Maribel: Normally friends would not put up with all the shit I've had to.
Wish: Is this not a good time to tell you more?
Well, er. You have been really nice to me and I've not been--oh. Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh.
Maribel: Well, now that I know...your true feelings. I suppose there's little point in me continuing.
Wait? What? Aren't you going on this journey for glory and victory to become the best Touhoumon master or something? Isn't that your dream?
Maribel: A little late for the speeches, Snazzy.
But it's true! What do your puppets mean to you? They weren't really just tools for you to scout ahead and give me pointers so I could become the greatest Touhoumon master there is, is it? I mean, all that time, all that bonding, did they mean nothing to you?
Maribel: Well, no, I--
The world isn't all about me you know. It's hard to believe, but it's true.
Maribel: I'm a little annoyed by how you worded that.
Maribel, you are my friend. I may not act like one all the time, or even ever...and maybe this is just a cheap last ditch effort to give you characterization before you never show up again, but you should go back home, spend some quality time with your puppets, think about what you want to do, with them, with yourself and well, head out to the world and see it with your own eyes, without the rose-tinted glasses. I'm sure it's much more beautiful than you take it for granted.
Maribel: ...I'm going now.
I'm glad you're taking my advice at heart!
Maribel: I wonder why I ever opened it up to someone like you.

 photo mokou3_23_zpsf10cf7b8.png

Judge: ...you know nothing about girls, Snazzy.
What? I'm a girl! You take that back!
Judge: All I can do is shake my head.

 photo mokou3_24_zps0ede8139.png

Wish: Soooooo...do you want some more info?
I dunno. I feel like I should call her or something, make her feel better. 
Wish: That's not a yes or no...
Huuurg: You know, the rest of us are also quite curious at what information you may be withholding.
Wish: Well, she said something about capturing one of these lingering spirits--
Flankhole: Wait! We do have one of those!
Wish: And that one of the biggest sources of this invasion of dead puppets is the volcano we fought Magma in earlier!

 photo mokou3_25_zps794ecb7d.png

Aha! Thanks for that, Wish!

 photo mokou3_26_zpsff036633.png

Judge: A hidden cave. Somehow I'm not surprised.

 photo mokou3_27_zpsdaa69274.png

This time I brought many of these things! No pain for us today!
Swag: But no pain, no gain.
Judge: ...you out of anyone here will likely need these the most, you do realize that.
Swag: Snazzy is not that obtuse to throw me out into an oven.

 photo mokou3_28_zps194d65b7.png

Whew! It sure is hot in here! I wish my wardrobe wasn't mostly black.
Wish: I dunno what you're talking about. I'm feelin' fine!
Huuurg: Yes, this heat concept many of you speak of is alien to me. 
Flankhole: Agh! Huuurg! Your jaw is starting to melt off your face!
Huuurg: Oh dear.
Hmm, I guess we should get this done quickly. Wish is unaffected but Huuurg definitely is, even if he can't feel it.

 photo mokou3_29_zpsd05ef88b.png

Judge: What do you think you're doing!?
Wish: Oooooh, a little part of me is going to be in you! Hehe, I can't believe I just said that!
Judge: You cannot rid of my smiting powers! What else could I possibly do to stand down sinners like Wish?
...use your other attacks that are actually STAB?
Judge: But, the effect would not nearly be as satisfying!
I had no idea you cared about aesthetic value in that way.
Judge: ...

 photo mokou3_30_zps15f72c0b.png 

I wish I had a Nitori here to tell me how scientifically impossible it is for humans to survive being this close to magma.

 photo mokou3_31_zpsbe8628b7.png

Maxie: At last! It is time to awaken, LUtsuho!
...that doesn't look like an LUtsuho...

 photo mokou3_32_zps6ac95f8c.png

Hey douchebag! That orb's responsible for keeping the dead, dead! Or something like that. You can't go around using it to bring back sleeping gods!
Maxie: You think I care about something as insignificant like that? As far as I'm concerned what I'm doing is a favour, bringing back the loved ones destroyed by horrible disasters like floods and tsunamis. They'll all be revived to witness the glory of Team Magma, ridding the world of water once and for all! Mwahahaha!

 photo mokou3_33_zps69d27949.png

Maxie: Now, LUtsuho! Rise!
Judge: Why do all the megalomaniacs have to be so stupid?

 photo mokou3_34_zpsfaabf40b.png

Groudon!?
Maxie: Did it not like its new name? I thought it was a suitable nickname for such a revered god!
Flankhole: Y'know, I can actually understand if it left solely for that reason.
...what are you implying?

 photo mokou3_35_zpsb2389ba3.png 

Flankhole: ...nothing.
Wish: My rival! And the proper gender too!

 photo mokou3_37_zpsc5a08012.png

Maxie: Ha! You should take a look an inferior version of what will soon be your new god instead! Behold!
Y'know, I had an Utsuho before. It's much more powerful than anything you can pull out, awaken or otherwise.
Wish: What happened to the Mokou!?
Huuurg: My apologies, it is taking quite some time consuming this rather spicy delicacy without a lower jaw.

 photo mokou3_38_zps260ca044.png

Huuurg: There we go.
Swag: Once again I'm impressed.
Wish: Take that you sorry excuse of a clone!

 photo mokou3_39_zpsdb711dd0.png 

Swag: Finally, some work.
Hey DTenshi! Say eat me!
DTenshi: What--pichuun~!
Swag: I've heard that term so damn often when I was wild. Stop encouraging it! I'm starting to think you were the source!
Uhhh, no... I just like following trends? whistles

 photo mokou3_40_zpsb1d0f887.png 

Swag: Begone.

 photo mokou3_41_zps8a179cc7.png

Huuurg: A shame. I wanted to taste that one.

 photo mokou3_42_zpsb73a9559.png

Are all your puppets male!? Geez, what does that mean about you?
Swag: I do not see how that is at all a problem. The fact that we as a collective are based on female humans leads to shock and inequality among our ra--

 photo mokou3_43_zpse5b5177f.png

Judge: No. We will not be having such a controversial discussion. Next!

 photo mokou3_45_zpscfb78d61.png

Next? There is no more next.
Maxie: Just because I was not able to defeat you--
Again.
Maxie: ...means nothing! LUtsuho has been unleashed! You will rue the day you defied such a being!

 photo mokou3_46_zps0fc1daa6.png

Wait, no what?

 photo mokou3_47_zpsc7428964.png

Maxie: So, I will simply destroy such an unnecessary base.
Have you been this senselessly destructive since birth!? You need help!

 photo mokou3_48_zpse0d51c95.png 

Hey guys I need a boat.

 photo mokou3_49_zpsfa906765.png 

Guys?
Wish: Wow the news guys are actually reporting on something not a battle.

 photo mokou3_50_zpse39c8932.png 

Oh what the fuck.

 photo mokou3_51_zpsa050ec20.png

Flankhole: So...there goes that boat.
Judge: What of Meiling? Can we not take it?
Meiling is a very moody catfish. It prefers sleep over swimming long distances. Short distances? Fine, but across a large body of water? Yeeeeeeah.
Huuurg: May I suggest a water puppet as our sixth member?
I don't know. I guess I'll think about Komachi or something, but he seems rather pacifist.

 photo mokou3_52_zpsb1e4fa95.png

Wish: Hey yeah! It's just been us five for a while! How come we haven't replaced our sixth opening?
Judge: I think Snazzy still needs time.
Wish: Eh?
Meiling: Bloop.

 photo mokou3_53_zps7cd679cc.png

Hmmm, left or right?
Wish: Time? Time for what? If we're still just five aren't we more vulnerable or something?
Judge: That is true, however--
Skittles: Hey.

 photo mokou3_54_zpse411e35e.png

Everyone: !!
...well, there goes Komachi being the replacement.
Skittles: Oi! They helped me get back here!
Wait, you're not one of those lost spirits?
Komachi: And it ain't cheap, let me tell you.
Skittles: Technically I am, but I'm back to warn you. I can't stay long.
Flankhole: Wow, everything is warning us. My own, normally chaotic species, Snazzy's old Touhous, and even you, from beyond the grave!
Skittles: Right. Shut up. This is really important. The orbs aren't the only reason us spirits have escaped from the netherworld.
Huh!? It isn't!?
Skittles: You really think two orbs that can be stolen that easily is responsible for keeping death in its place? That's stupid!
Judge: True, that did sound illogical. I wonder why even I took that at face value.
Skittles: A malevolent force from beyond this very dimension is causing this unnatural epidemic. All I can tell you is that the most powerful puppet trainers of all may be under its influence.
Oh wow, that's pretty steep.
Skittles: Now, I must go. Defeat me.
But wait! You didn't come back because you're upset, having met the same fate of so many Nazrin of before?
Skittles: I am already dead. Such feelings are no longer a part of me.
Oh...
Skittles: But as they say, ghosts are really just a figment of the living's lingering emotions. I truly enjoyed the time I had with you all. I...have no regrets.
Skittles...
Komachi: Hey hey hey. The deal did not involve your own issues, just the potentially world-ending one. Guess we'll have to end this prematurely! Phantom ru--
Swag: !! energy light

 photo mokou3_55_zpsd9654c8a.png 

Huuurg: I appear to have discovered a new move. Snazzy, what are your thoughts?
...
Judge: I would advise against learning such a move, unless you wish to join Skittles.
Huuurg: I suppose that is quite an unnecessary sacrifice for something so minimal. Alright.

 photo mokou3_56_zpsc125b46e.png

In the large scheme of things, you are nothing. You are insignificant. You're just another pawn working under another idiot, worsening the situation at hand that none of you understand. I pity you.
Matt: What?
Get out of my way.

 photo mokou3_57_zpsa09c01c1.png

Matt: You'll be sorry you said such things!

 photo mokou3_58_zpsbf50ecff.png 

AKomachi: Hey have you seen my underling anywhere? He illegally transported a soul around this area.
Huuurg: Not at all. You may have to look elsewhere once you recover from your injuries.
AKomachi: Wha-?
Huuurg: NOMS

 photo mokou3_59_zps13b0c4f4.png

Wish: Hey Snazzy, you ok?
I'll be fine. I guess we really do need a sixth member though, but who? If only we can steal the 'mons from this jackass.
Flankhole: There are plenty of candidates in the box!
Hmmmm...

 photo mokou3_60_zpsaa6ced44.png 

Judge: Not this one though. He has sinned just a little too much.

 photo mokou3_61_zps3321b4be.png 

Futo: Nooooooo~!
Huuurg: You seem very pleased whenever you fight this kind.

 photo mokou3_62_zps0d4e8655.png

Huuurg: Ah, woe is I! A being my canines phase through! I suppose a diet is necessary once in a while.

 photo mokou3_63_zps6e9e1702.png

Yeah, now get lost.
Matt: Don't be so cocky little girl. My boss is already on his way to wake up the great LSuwako!
Wow, how predictable. Also thank you for telling me exactly what you people are planning. Sometimes your stupidity is advantageous.
Matt: Wait what?

 photo mokou3_64_zpsbce39766.png

And with Swag on my side, those Suwakos will be sore in the morning. Heh.
Wish: Was that meant to be--
No. It's about this whip. Solely this whip. THERE ARE NO INNUENDOES HERE, YOU HEAR ME, INTERNET!?
Swag: ...what?
GOOD!

 photo mokou3_65_zps0e676523.png 

Wish: I like being useful in all the places I never expected to!
Yes, good for you Wish.
Judge: Why must you enable him?

 photo mokou3_66_zpsa71e3665.png 

Hey look Swag! A bug you cannot squash. Burninate it, Wish.
Wriggle: Please! Mercy! I beg of you!
Wish: As you command!

 photo mokou3_67_zps6df6cfb0.png

Just kidding!
Wriggle: I'm...alive?
Yes, welcome to the club Wriggle. You and many others will be applying for the sixth position on my team. Goooood luck!

 photo mokou3_68_zpse9969f8a.png

Wow, such useless deepseatooth thingies. Only one single puppet type can use it, and I don't own any.
Judge: It's fine to have just in case.
Wish: And shiny!
What are you, a crow?

 photo mokou3_69_zpsb634860d.png

Wish: What are we doing now?

 photo mokou3_70_zpsb1d28d7e.png

You'll see.

 photo mokou3_71_zps2ef62112.png

Judge: I demand my smiting powers returned forthwith!
No.

 photo mokou3_72_zps2e625d41.png

Huuurg: Ah, just as I've observed. There is a pattern!

 photo mokou3_73_zpse6909a6c.png

No one will be dying under my watch! Not with these moves they won't! And that's what you'll need if you guys want to join our main team. Does anyone meet the requirements Judge?
Judge: ...no.
....drats!
Wish: What will we do now!?

 photo mokou3_75_zps4cb91928.png 

Plan B! Everyone gets a tryout! Starting with...

 photo mokou3_76_zpsbf51ca98.png

...you!
Mofo: Oh! I'm honoured! Thank you, thank you very much!
Flankhole: Er, do you want a name change or anything of the sort? We can provide that.

 photo mokou3_77_zpsdd16a3fb.png

Mofo: Not at all! I feel very in tune with this name you gave me, as if it describes me perfectly. Gasp! A new form! I have grown so big! You do not know how much gratitude I have for you! Oh, even if you put me back in that box right now I'd be satisfied!
Swag: We should do that. Right now.
Hey. Give him a chance! There are many other candidates after him!
Which is going to be featured prominently in the next part, yay!
Swag: Fourth wall.
That's fine. It's the end of this one anyway!
Swag: I wonder if the next part will come within the next two years?
Oi! Shut up! I had reasons! ...terrible reasons, but reasons.
Swag. Whatever. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance, but procrastination is a-okay.
That's right kids! Even if the fate of the universe hangs in the balance, procrastination is a-okay.

Current Roster
the same thing yo!

A/N: Ah yes, two years. I have no excuse. Well okay, my excuse is I forgot about it and then had writer's block, and then found new interests and started getting busy, you know all the normal usual stuff. I cannot guarantee finishing this storyline, again still pulling plot out of nowhere. But part of the reason I did this is because a very inspirational man passed away a few months back, and today yesterday would have been his birthday. He was very creative and instead of flowers or cards us fans were encouraged to do something creative, just like he would've done. Really, I do love writing about Touhoumon lore. I even wrote up a huge backstory thing about the Touhous in my previous run, but again incomplete. Another part of the reason I did this is because someone who drew tons of neat art of a particular pairing stopped around three years ago suddenly, dropping off the face of the earth from their pixiv and twitter. A few people assumed he may have died, but someone said he was drawing on some other fandom so it's a relief to know he isn't dead. It is still a shame that he suddenly stopped what he was drawing so long ago, and probably started up new accounts for the new things he was doing. This Touhoumon thing too stopped suddenly a few years back, and just leaving it like so feels inadequate. I know I don't have readers reading this (maybe one? lol idk) but still, to leave things unfinished forever...I know how it feels to be on the other end, so why not give this a go again? Just like with that artist, there's always a chance he'll draw for that pairing again. 

Recently, a project was under way to translate a Touhoumon-like game that isn't reliant on mods. An entire standalone game based on Pokemon replaced with Touhou! I really want to play that. I'm not sure how to write a story around it since the game itself probably has one of its own. I already know exactly what six Touhoumons I would want to have, so maybe whenever I start it up I'll post my progress on this blog! Who knows! Until then, Spotto out. I hope the formatting doesn't fuck up like it usually does on these damn blogger posts.