Current Roster
Last time on Snazzy's Incredibly Entertaining and Justifed Randomlocke, we had our first evolution in the form of a rat, ran into a few puppets that sadly lasted only minutes in battle, and finally caught ourselves a little water puppet for great justice in the types of fights to come!
THIS PLACE ISN'T GUARDED ANYMORE!
Skittles: It was guarded in the first place?
I failed to mention it.
Judge: Must be some sort of hidden base for a criminal organization.
Skittles: How would you even know that?
Judge: A puppet's intuition.
Skittles: ...this is quite high.
Suwhackjob: What if we fall and all die!?
Wish: I wouldn't.
Judge: Let's be rational here. Plenty of people probably have used this with no problem, so why would we suddenly become the victims of a malfunction?
Wish: You say that...but we saw no one else using this...the entrance was deserted. Only that lady was there to help us in.
Suwhackjob: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Oh look we're here.
Judge: And proof people have used that trolley.
Skittles: They look a might suspicious.
Judge: ...a might?
Suwhackjob: I HAVE A PURPOSE!
Magma Grunt: Curses, whoever thought some dumb kid would actually be armed with our greatest weakness, water!?
This feels like deja vu somehow...
Wish: We must fight our common enemy together!
It's only a one-on-one battle though.
Wish: Then I shall be fight in spirit! Utsuho, do not be intimidated! There are still other ways to defeat our--
Skittles: Just whose side on you on!?
Wish: Fire-types have to stick together.
Sorry Wish, the fire Touhous are being used for....uh
Judge: An immoral purpose?
Sure, let's go with that! You're the one that pushes me to act as a vigilante anyway.
Wish: That was only because the blue team used water puppets.
Suwhackjob: Are you itchin' for a fight? Huh? Huh!?
Wish: Look, he even dresses well.
Suwhackjob: Oh please, he doesn't even have a hat! The blue-banana group are much cooler dressed.
Judge: Bandanna--
Wish: Yeah well they don't have his slick...slicked back hair! So there! They have to hide the dust mites in their hair with their ugly bananas!
Suwhackjob: You think such a poorly designed coat could overcome whatever snazzy hat he could obtain to cover that abomination!?
Judge: ...this is outrageous.
I agree! In that case, let's go Skittles!
Skittles: WHAT!?
Skittles: FIRE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!
Wish: Are you on Suwhackjob's side!?
It's just a TSuika, no need to worry. That sandstorm can't even hurt you.
Skittles: Return me to the ball! RETURN ME TO THE BALL!
Sigh, fine.
Suwhackjob: You should've used me in the first place.
Wish: Don't act so smug!!
Suwhackjob: You're the last person I want to hear that from.
Wish: Yeah well, it's pretty lame to act all haughty when all you do is take advantage of those weaker to you!
Judge: Hypocrisy is frowned upon in these parts, Wish.
Wish: Whaaaat!?
I am very sorry about my rather rambunctious puppets here, hehe...
Maxie: ...nonetheless I have been defeated, but you haven't foiled my plans yet!
Wish: You mean their most brilliant awe-inspiring worldbuilding plan! We've done great evil today, especially you, Suwhackjob.
Suwhackjob: No, it is you who is evil. We have to side with the blue banana corps if we want to keep their dirty hands away from anything disastrous!
Judge: All this bantering has made me forget what we were even doing here.
Same...
Skittles: Is the fire over yet?
Wish: Ah, a CKeine...
Weak to fire, might I mention.
Wish: For some reason I feel sorry for it. Ah well!
FWOOSH
Look what we have here, a swordsman puppet! It'd be an excellent replacement for our most tragically short-lived Kno--
SLASH!
Skittles: ...oops
Wish: Good job Skittles, that puppet was no Knob!
God-freakin' damnit you guys...
Nonetheless this innocent looking cloud will be a suitable replacement to--
Wish: YOU'RE NO KNOB! Knob was a courageous CYoumu who bid her entire life and loyalty to us! If she were here today she'd slice you into pieces in an instant! Now die in the fiery flames of Judgement--
Judge: My lines.
Wish: ...you are unworthy to be my companion!
FWOOSH!
Oh look, it lived! TOHO ORB!
Wish: ...what?
Judge: I guess it was worthy after all.
I'm going to name it Haruka even though it's a boy...hm, whatever!
Suwhackjob: I like how you're still denying Wish any double battles.
She needs to learn teamwork first.
Wish: But you said--
OH LOOK AN EGG I WONDER WHAT WILL HATCH
Now, all of you be good big brothers or sisters to your new sibling!
Suwhackjob: We're siblings!?
Judge: Your bickering is reminiscent of the petty arguments between brothers and sisters, yes.
Also I have a shard, would you like it Haruka?
Haruka: Sure.
Wish: It feels like we're never going to evolve.
Judge: One's evolution comes at a time of great maturity.
Wish: So...you haven't matured either?
Judge: I...uh, I guess I haven't.
Skittles: I am no longer alone! It feels like I'm taking care of a bunch of kids.
Suwhackjob: Hey! I resent that. I may look small but I'll become awesome, just you wait!
Haruka: I can already see that they are quite childish.
Speaking of kids, what is that cracking I hear?
Judge: So where did you even get that egg?
Uh, some old lady gave it to me.
Judge: And you just accepted it? Without knowing the full responsibilities of raising a baby puppet all by yourself?
I raised you, didn't I?
Judge: That was after we had experiences of the vicious Hoenn wilderness. This is instead a newborn, a complete empty state that we have to influence so they will grow up to become a helpful and moral puppet!
Oh, I guess I should have seen how suspicious it must've been for an old lady to hand out random eggs.
Judge: Such poor judgement.
Wish: Shut up and watch it crack already!
Suwhackjob: Can I name her? Can I?
Wish: How do you know it'll be a girl?
Egg's almost completely cracked! It's a...it's a...!!
...
Wish: ...
Skittles: ...
Suwhackjob: ...
Judge: ...
Haruka: ...
CSeiga: Hahaha! I HAVE LIFE! I have come into being! I have been born with a purpose to make sure, you, my former caretaker and now SERVANT, shall help me reach my sinister ambitions to take over all of the world! Prepare to be killed and reborn as a hated and ugly Jiangsh--
So I decided to name it Morality.
Judge: Trying to be ironic?
It'd probably piss it off anyway.
Haruka: Why isn't he here?
I think it's best we keep him in the box. I'm sure the other puppets will keep him company...
Morality: I WILL GET YOU NEXT TIME! YOU CAN'T KEEP ME BURIED IN THIS HELLHOLE FOREVER!!
Sword: Hello, I am Sword. I like cutting trees and smashing rocks.
Morality: ARGH!
Suwhackjob: That's an interesting pose...if we had caught that, would you have named it CHARISMA?
...that's genius. Too bad we didn't catch it.
Suwhackjob: HA! I HAVE REACHED THE PINNACLE OF MATURITY FIRST!
Wish: No! I'm first, no fair! I'm much more mature than you! Coolhat why did you train her more than me!?!?
Uhm, guys...just evolve quietly okay?
Suwhackjob: She preferred my prowess over yours, obviously. Also you lost your credentials the moment you supported that fire-brain's evil schemes!
Oh c'mon you two. Judge, you're rational. Say something.
Judge: ...why do they evolve even before me? What have I done to forsake you, great puppet-maker of the skies? Am I truly not as adept as these two bumbling fools? What is the meaning of my existence, even!?
...nevermind.
Suwhackjob: Snazzy is clearly favouring me in battle! More experience points for me!
Judge: The words father and mother have always told me at night, were they wrong? Am I truly not the special child they so often coddled me to be?
Haruka: Uhm, are you okay?
Skittles: She's just having an existential crisis. It'll blow over.
Haruka: You seem unusually calm about this.
Skittles: ...I have experience.
...uh, so guys...this is a fire gym.
Wish: Now you're just doing this on purpose, Coolhat.
Hey, I don't choose what gym I fight next! It's much more convenient to defeat these guys first before we move on...
Suwhackjob: And so, my time to shine is here!
Wish: Hmph.
Suwhackjob: I don't know any moves that can pin down a rocket.
You're not still going on about that wrestling thing, are you?
Suwhackjob: A battle between two puppets is simply an unpredictable form of wrestling!
...okay...
Wish: Oh you're not going to drown that puny puppet as well, are you?
Suwhackjob: I'm only trying to win our master a badge.
Haruka: It doesn't look very puppet-like, does it?
Judge: Just like me, un-puppet-like. My desire to evolve a wholly selfish one and I cannot release these crippling sins from me so that I too could achieve the next level of enlightenment, one step away from nirvana...
Haruka: ...uh, well, it looks like a cat.
Skittles: AHH! A cat!
Suwhackjob: Don't worry about a thing, I've got it handled!
Completely handled, right? You sure? I know I've swept gyms with a single puppet before but I always feel uneasy about it, wondering if a method like that is too linear, too short-sighted...
Suwhackjob: Relax, it's handled. Completel--
...what?
Wish: YOU LIED!
Wish what are you doing, it's a fire gym. I'll try using Judge inst--
Wish: Judge is a wreck. I can take this, other fire types don't scare me. It's one thing to be on their side, it's another thing to destroy my greatest rival! You dare mock me with another Mokou, as well!?
Flannery: Uh...
Wish: That is how it's done.
Judge: Wh--what happened here?
Haruka: ...Suwhackjob was taken out in a single hit. It was...shocking to say the least.
Judge: But she was our most powerful ally, the first to reach the pique of maturity to evolve...how? I don't understand anything anymore...
Wish: Get a hold of yourself Judge, I know you better than this. Ha
It's much more important to adapt.. As I've learned today, using the same tactics over and over again, relying on only a single puppet...it can end with unexpected and sometimes tragic results.
You should avoid that old lady with the eggs. There's a reason she's giving them away.
Suwhackjob the Suwako
Level 16 - 40
Wish's Greatest Rival
Whoa, this thing is completely rare! We have to catch it at all costs!
Skittles: *Slash*
Haruka: ...and completely fragile.
Sigh...
And instead we catch something completely common.
Wish: I like the other one better! Why are we taking this one?
I once had a Reimu! It died, it died! It was my first Touhoumon! Oh why, oh why!
Wish: Okay, okay, don't need to get sentimental on me.
Wish: NO! THE OTHER ONE IS LOST FOREVER!
Judge: Perhaps this was not its time to be discovered.
Wow, that thing looks utterly badass. I WANT IT.
Wish: I NEED it!
Morality: *critical hit!*
...you did that on purpose!
Morality: You deserve it! You are my servant, but instead you box me! How can I reach my ambitions when you do not even listen to your superiors, such a puppet is better off dead than to be handled by the likes of you!
Morality: Wait! What are you doing!? To reduce me to the likes of mere children!? This is not a place where I belong!
Judge: This is a perfect place for you. You can socialize with other puppets and perhaps maybe even develop some empathy.
Skittles: Is that even possible?
Judge: For his future's sake I certainly hope it is.
Iku: Greetings, I have come to warn you of an impending disas--
ATTACK!
Iku: But wait, at least let me finish my warning, it is absolutely imperative that you follow my instructions--
Hm, was that Iku trying to say something?
Skittles: I was too busy avoiding being zapped.
Wish: Who cares, we have a new party member! Maybe she can be my tag-team partner!
I think for now she can stay in the box and maybe kick the other puppets into high gear.
Valour: BUT YOU MUST LISTEN! THE WORLD WILL SOON BE DESTR--
Gym Battle time!
Wish: Yay!
Judge: I can't help but feel we should be listening to that Iku.
Maybe after Gym Battle time, I want to destroy my father.
Judge: I don't agree with that wording.
Skittles: That thing looks utterly terrifying.
Wish: Nothing a little dose of fire can't fix!
Skittles: Huh.
You know I've always wanted a Sanae...
Wish: You have one...from before, remember?
Ah right...the slow one...
Wish: Tell Knob she was the best! I miss her so much.
Haruka: More than Suwhackjob?
Wish: ...who?
Skittles: Your immortal rival who is, uh, no longer immortal.
Wish : Ah right, the hat. Pshaw, she was my rival. She'll fend for herself in the otherlands!
What, were you expecting me to fail spectacularly, give up, and pursue some other career you've always wanted me to become? Like your assistant as a researcher!? Stupid Gary Oak.
Skittles: ...what?
Wish: That IS a big sword alright.
Judge: Yes, quite a fine specimen if I've ever seen one.
Really, this admiration is what lowers our offense? Really!?
I do not understand why my father allows me to set up. Look how beefy Haruka is already!
Haruka: SMASH! RAWR!
Skittles: ...why do I suddenly feel incredibly alone?
Haruka: EAT! FACE! DESTROOOY!
Wish: I wish I had built-in steroids!
Judge: Yes, sadly all you have is the ability to revive at the drop of a needle.
Wish: I know!
Judge: Perhaps at this point we should exercise mercy before Haruka is too powerful to be stopped by all.
Mercy? Pft. No one else takes mercy on US, so why should we act noble to these rats? STOMP HIM HARUKA!
Haruka: RAAAAAAHHHH!
Wish: Ooooooh.
Skittles: That...that isn't pretty.
Judge: That was the absolute opposite of mercy! I cannot believe you would allow us puppets to commit such barbaric and atrocious acts!
Believe me, I've seen faaaaar worse.
Judge: I now understand.
Skittles: What?
Judge: Our owner inherits her foolishness.
Since when have I been on your bad side!?
Judge: I believe we've known each other sufficiently enough for me to lay down some pre-emptive judgement.
Wish: I bet he's sad because his puppets were smashed into smithereens.
Haruka: Whew, what happened? I feel incredibly exhausted...
Skittles: It's not like my list of things-to-be-terrifed-of wasn't long enough.
D: We no longer have Suwhackjob to pile upon as we travel the seven seas!
Wish: Catch a new boat then! We'll see if they can be anywhere near as good of a rival Suwhackjob was!
Wish: ...that's not water.
Wish: WHAT DID I JUST SAY!?
I have a plan for her.
Wish: That ALSO isn't water!
Judge: I'm sure our owner is allowed to collect insurance along the way as well.
Wish: THAT'S water! Let's catch her!
No can do, already got one from here.
Wish: Son of a--
Wish: Your lack of water types disappoint me.
Skittles: Is a rival really that necessary?
Wish: The rest of you are too boring and weak to match my prowess!
Wish: MODEST!?
Wish: DOCILE!?
Wish: MILD!? You see! Terrible. Absolutely terrible.
Skittles: What about Haruka hopped up on built-in drugs? Is that rival enough for you?
Wish: ...I said RIVAL, not PULVERIZER!
Haruka: What is this about built-in drugs!?
Swag: Hand-picked to join you on this journey? I feel honoured.
Wish: Look at this, look at this bull--
Swag: And I am so honoured I am willing to shut this grilled chicken's piehole just for you!
Thank you.
Wish: ...fire trumps grass, pal.
Swag: And you think that can stop me?
First let us collect more insurance, we have captured a younger specimen of that terrifying creature we saw before.
Wish: Why. Why are you doing this.
You're right! Without Suwhackjob you just go on tangents all on your own, so we should have a whole bunch of puppets for the sole purpose of keeping you satisfied.
Swag: It is my pleasure.
Current Roster
